Elevator
by Iron Prudence
Summary: The gang Dawn, Buffy, Willow, Xander, Anya get stuck in the elevator going up to Giles' apartment. What could possibly happen?
1. Games

**Summary: The gang gets stuck in an elevator. What could possibly happen?**

**Spoilers: None so far.**

**Pairings: Anya/Xander. But this isn't really a romance fic. **

**Rating: T for language and adult themes**

**Disclamer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon. Someday, maybe…**

**Also, this is while they're all in High School. Dawn exists already though, just because I like her.**

"I know, I know, but Age of Empires is about History and all that! History! School! Learning! Educational!" - Xander said to his friends as they all stepped into the elevator.

"Sure, but what about Roller Coaster? It's awesome, I mean, you get to create a amusement park! Like Disney! And you can make little shops and design your own rides and get money from people who-"

"Money! I like that one! You really get money?"- Anya asked, cutting of Dawn.

"Yes, Anya. But it's play money. You can't use it for anything in real life, only in the game."- Dawn said, rolling her eyes.

"Well that's okay! Oh, oh! Can you have sex?"

Dawn blushed and shook her head quickly. Anya looked crushed for about a second, but then Willow jumped in.

"Aha! But that's when The Sims comes in! I mean, the second one. The first one sucks. You really can't create a person, you only get to chose from the options of clothing and hair color that they have. And the houses and towns are just so normal! And no ET families or pink people or…"- She trailed off, noticing everyone was staring at her.

"Well, anyway. In The Sims, Anya, you can literally do anything. You can get a job easy, you don't even have to go to the interview, and you can choose the job with the highest salary, and as the game goes on you can get promoted and get more money which you don't have to waste on roller coasters, you can keep and buy more things! Pretty things like furniture or, or, food or clothes or toys and stuff! And you can have sex, too. And you can have babies, okay, but if you don't want them just ignore them and the child service people come and take it. But if you want it, it can be so cute and adorable and you can dress it up! And you can go downtown and have cars and even go to college, and kids can go to school! It has everything! It's like, a perfect life! Just, you know, on the computer."

Anya's eyes were glittering and she looked at Willow as if in a trance. Xander waved his arm in front of her.

"Will, did you use some kind of weird voodoo on my girlfriend?"

Willow rolled her eyes at him.

"You can come over to my house and play it later, An."- Willow said, happy that she had finally found something in common with the girl.

Finally, everyone was quiet. Anya was leaning against Xander, Buffy was staring at herself in the mirror, and Dawn was staring at Willow evilly while Willow pretended not to notice and smirked. They waited to get to Giles' apartment, until finally Buffy voiced what everybody was mentally asking themselves.

"Did the elevator stop?"

**Well, thanks for reading. Reviews make me happy and encourage me to write more! **


	2. Spikey Wikey?

**Summary: The gang gets stuck in an elevator. What could possibly happen?**

**Spoilers: None so far.**

**Pairings: Anya/Xander, Buffy/Spike for now. But this isn't really a romance fic. **

**Rating: T for language and adult themes**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon. Someday, maybe…**

**Also, this is around the third season, which is why Dawn is thirteen. In the fifth season she was fifteen, right? PM me if I'm wrong, please. Also, William is Spike. I'm totally a Spuffy fan. He goes to the same high school (at night) as the gang, is still a vampire, but has a soul, and nobody knows he is a vampire. But he's still a "bad boy".**

"No, no. This can't be happening. Wait a sec."- Dawn said desperately. She pressed the button that opens the door, only to have the doors open facing directly into the gray wall.

"Aw, shit. Wait, lemme try my cell phone."- Buffy said, pulling it out of her pocket.

"Hey! Since when do you have a cell phone?!"- Willow asked indignantly.

Buffy grinned, but then remembered the situation they were in and tried Giles' number. She waited and waited, and when no one answered, she realized that the small phone's screen said that there was no signal.

"Dammit! There's no fucking signal!"- She yelled, frustrated.

Everyone raised they're eyebrows and looked at each other.

"Overreact much, sis?"- Dawn asked.

"Yeah, Buff. Let's keep it PG, there's thirteen year olds present."- Xander told his friends.

"Sorry! I just don't want to be stuck here with you guys! I'm supposed to tell Giles about this stupid demon I saw yesterday, leave you guys to research, and then meet William…"- She trailed off, noticing the angry looks in her friends' eyes.

"Yeah, way to be grateful, huh? "Leave you guys to research". And what's wrong with being stuck here with us? At least we're not all peroxided jerks who just like to sleep with girls, dump'em, and then go around telling everybody how easy she was!"- Dawn said.

Everyone looked at her.

"Uh, peroxided jerks, Dawnie?"- Willow asked.

"Xander said it."- The girl answered, looking down sheepishly.

"Sure. I can't say 'fuck' in front of a girl who talks like that."- Buffy said sarcastically.

"Hey, I only learned from you!"

"That's not true!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is-"

"Dawn! Buffy! Shut UP!"- Anya yelled, eyes closed and covering her ears.

They both did. Willow was sitting on the corner, messing around with Buffy's cell phone, and suddenly started giggling. Everybody looked at her as she started laughing out loud.

"Wills! What is it?"- Buffy finally asked.

"It's-It's…."- She couldn't go on, and just burst out laughing.

Xander took the cell phone from her hands and looked at the screen. He tried for a while to contain his laughter, but after a few seconds just burst out like Willow, passing the cell phone on to Anya, who looked at the screen and also started laughing and gave the phone to Dawn.

"What? What? WHAT? Guys! What is it?"- Buffy asked, desperate.

Dawn started giggling too, after looking at the screen.

Finally, Buffy took the cell phone out of Dawn's hand and looked at what they were laughing at. She turned red with embarrassment. It was a series of messages she and William had exchanged.

Spike: Hey, luv. Whatcha doin'?

Buffy: Nothing that you're interested in. What are you doing, Spikey-Wikey?

Spike: Jus' chillin', babe. Jus' chillin'. What about you?

Buffy: Nothing, Spikey. Told you already.

Spike: Right, that you did. Well…what are you doing right now?

Buffy: Spikey, are you high?

Spike: Course not! What, every fucking time I ask what you're doing and fucking care about you, I'm high?!

Buffy: No, Spikey, that's not what I meant! I'm sorry, Spikey, I didn't mean to upset you!

Spike: S'ok, Buffy-bear. S'ok. So, answer my question, pet. What are you doing?

"_Spikey-Wikey?_"- Xander asked, holding his stomach from laughing.

"Buffy-bear!"- Willow said, howling with laughter.

Dawn looked at Anya.

"Whatcha doin, luv?"- She asked, with an English accent.

"Nothing, Spikey-Wikey!"- Anya said, doing an extremely girly voice, pretending to be Buffy.

"Oh, okay. Whatcha doin, pet?"- Dawn mocked.

"Nothing, Spikey. I told you."

"Oh, yeah. Right. Whatcha doing, Buffy-bear?"

As soon as she said Buffy-bear, they all laughed even harder, if possible.

Buffy, all this time, was looking at them all, angrily, and trying to ignore the annoying mockery of her and her honey. _This is going to be a long day_, she thought, sighing.

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	3. Everything I Do, I Do It For You

**Summary: The gang gets stuck in an elevator. What could possibly happen?**

**Spoilers: None so far.**

**Pairings: Anya/Xander, Buffy/Spike, Willow/Oz. But this isn't really a romance fic, just humor. **

**Rating: T for language and adult themes**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon. Someday, maybe…**

**Thanks for the great reviews so far, guys! **xXloveHSMloveXx, Halfreck3929, **and** Beckii890, **thank you! You guys are awesome!**

Willow was sitting in the corner of the elevator telling Anya more about The Sims 2. Xander had his head on Anya's shoulder and was sleeping, and Buffy and Dawn were sitting opposite to each other, Buffy looking up at times to glare at Dawn, who just sneered.

Xander jolted up as a harsh noise started coming from Buffy's cell phone. It was Everything I Do, I Do It For You, by Bryan Adams. Willow looked at Buffy, eyebrows raised.

"Bryan Adams, Buffy? You feeling alright?"- She asked her friend.

"She's in looove."- Dawn said, extra girlishly.

Buffy glared at Dawn, and this time it managed to shut her up.

"I just…you know…Spikey-I mean, uh, Spike. Spike chose it."

Everyone started laughing.

"Look, I think it's adorable, okay! You guys are just jealous because you don't have what I have!"

"And what would that be, Buff?"- Xander asked, stopping the laughter only long enough to say it.

"Love!"

Everyone started laughing louder, except for Willow.

"Hey, I'll have you know that I _do _have love! And contrary to you 'Spikey-Wikey', my love doesn't make me put silly, cheesy love songs in my cell phone! Yeah! _My _love can _play_ silly, cheesy love songs for me!"- She yelled, talking about Oz.

"You don't have a cell phone!"

"But if I did, Oz wouldn't make me put Bryan Adams in it!"

Just as she said that, the song started playing again on Buffy's phone, which made all of those who had stopped laughing start laughing again, and Buffy get even redder that she already was.

And as soon as they were calming down, the song played again.

"What the heck?!"- Buffy yelled, annoyed.

She grabbed the offending item and pressed any button and the song stopped, only to be replaced by Spike's voice on speakerphone.

"Hey sweets. How ya doin'?"- He asked, his voice rough and garbled.

Everyone giggled as Buffy fumbled with the phone, trying to turn it off.

"Buffy?"- Spike asked.

Finally Buffy turned off the phone and looked up at them.

"I. Hate. You. All."- She said, before turning her back on them, which was pretty hard since they were in such a cramped space. But she managed.

After about five minutes, Xander was snoring on Anya's should again, and Dawn was drawing on a notebook she had in her backpack.

"But Willow, I don't want to start off getting two hundred or maybe five hundred. I want a lot of money!"- Anya said, frustrated.

"Well, you're in luck, An. I have a solution for that."

"Really?"- Anya asked, he eyes brightening.

"Yep. See, like in most games, you can cheat in Sims. It's very simple. You just press control, shift, and C and this little box appears at the top of the screen. Then you type in motherlode, l-o-d-e, not l-o-a-d, and press enter, and you get fifty thousand!"

"But that's so easy!"

"I know! Isn't Sims fun?"

Anya was just about to say something when, suddenly _"Look into my eyes, you will see what you mean to me…" _ Buffy's phone started to ring again.

This time no one laughed.

"Okay, really, Buffy, this is getting annoying. Willow and I are trying to talk about money!"- Anya said.

"Buffy, is this guy stalking you or something? I mean, how many times can someone _call?!_"- Xander asked.

Buffy just turned of the phone, not bothering to look at any of them.

"Cranky, I see. Well, no matter. We'll just continue our discussion and hope that that annoying little…phone thing doesn't start playing cheesy love songs again."- Anya said, turning back to Willow.

And indeed, five minutes later, the song played again.

And five minutes after that, it played again.

And five minutes after THAT, it played…again.

And the next time it played, Xander grabbed the phone before Buffy reached for it.

"Buffy, I'm sorry. Dawn, don't ever repeat a word I say right now."

He looked into the screen and pressed the button that said talk.

"Hey. Yeah, see you asshole, this fuckin' stupid moron song is fucking annoying us, kay? So if you could just stop the fuck calling, I would appreciate it."

He was about to turn off the phone when Buffy shrieked and told him not to, so he brought it up to his ear again.

"Oh, right. We stole this phone from this, uh, girl. So, if you're trying to reach her, you know, don't…call us. Because, you know…I'm a…drug dealer who rapes and murders people."- He said.

And five minutes later, the phone rang again.

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	4. Ego

**Summary: The gang gets stuck in an elevator. What could possibly happen?**

**Spoilers: None so far.**

**Pairings: Anya/Xander, Buffy/Spike, Willow/Oz. But this isn't really a romance fic, just humor. **

**Rating: T for language and adult themes**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon. Someday, maybe…**

**Since two people asked me why they hung up on Spike when he could've helped, here's the simple explanation…**

"Buffy?"- Willow said.

"Yeah?"

"Can I, um…use your phone?"

"It doesn't call anyone."

"But Spike called."

"Hey! If Spike called then the phone's working! Call Giles!"- Xander yelled.

"I guess…"- Buffy said, dialing the watcher's number.

After a couple of minutes, Buffy turned back to her friends, who were all watching her expectantly.

"I don't know…There's no signal."

"Then how did Spike call?"- Dawn asked.

"I guess…there was a signal then…"

"Ugh! Why didn't you tell him what was going on?! He could've called Giles!"

"Weren't you the one that thought he was a totally uncaring jerk who just wanted to get laid?!"

"Well, yeah, but that was until I saw him call you Buffy-bear!"

Buffy rolled her eyes, but knowing that her sister had a point, continued talking.

"You guys were teasing me! I just wanted to turn off the freakin' phone! It was your own fault, you made me desperate!"

"What about you, Xander? Why didn't you tell him?!"

"Sure, yeah. I was a drug dealer that rapes and murders people! I don't think he would call anybody to help me, even less the librarian from his school!"

"Well, there's a good thing…"- Anya said.

Everyone turned to face her.

"Since there's no signal, at least that song won't come on again…"

They all giggled, agreeing, except for Buffy.

"Well, I guess we should just keep trying to call him, and eventually there'll be a signal again."- She said.

"Can I see it?"- Anya asked.

"Uh, sure…"- Buffy passed her the phone, confused.

After a few minutes, Buffy was using Dawn's notebook to try and draw the demon she had saw, Xander was using a pencil to poke the rubber flooring, Dawn and Willow each had an earphone of Dawn's iPod, and Anya was still messing with Buffy's cell phone, giggling quietly every few minutes.

"Xander?"- Anya asked, after awhile.

"Can I wink at a guy? I promise I won't flirt with him or give him my number or have sex with him. Just wink?"

"Uh, what? There's no other guy here. Hey! Does that phone work as a webcam or something?!"- He asked, grabbing it off his girlfriend's hands.

He looked at it weirdly.

"Ego? What the hell is Ego? I mean, I know what ego is, I'm not stupid, but…is this some sort of game?"

"Yeah! You can wink at guys and flirt and chat and sleep with them and dance and do so much! You just can't have money…"

"You HAVE money! MY money! You're wasting it on this stupid game! Anya, this is an online game! It costs money to go online! I don't expect you'll pay for this?!"- Buffy yelled, realizing what they were talking about.

"Buffy, I'm an ex-demon. I don't even have parents, how am I supposed to get money?"

"Uh, your job! Giles' shop?!"

"Oh, right. See, Buffy, what you don't get is that it costs a lot of money to have a house and eat and buy clothes. Life is expensive. You don't know this since you have everything paid for you, but I do. I have no one to buy things for me. Xander is poor, he doesn't give me presents. So I'm sorry. I can't pay for your game."

Dawn and Willow, who were overhearing the conversation, looked at each other with teary eyes. Buffy looked extremely guilty and Xander was angry about the comment Anya had made about him. Buffy looked up at Anya, ashamed.

"I'm sorry, An, I didn't-"

"Hey! Don't get all cry-y on me, my life is good! I have, you know, you guys. Well, except for you, Willow, I know you don't like me much."

"What?! I do like you! What about The Sims?"

"Oh, it's okay, really. I know you just wanted me to like your game and not Dawn's. But it's fine. I don't really like you either."

Willow looked like she could kill Anya, and Buffy didn't look guilty anymore.

"Aw, An, that's so sweet."- Xander said, hugging her.

Willow looked at him offended.

"I-I mean, the part about you having us."

Willow still looked angry, but after Dawn coaxed her into listening to her iPod again, she was fine. After a few minutes everyone was quiet again, peaceful.

"So, Buffy…Can I keep playing that game?"- Anya asked.

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